Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

October 31 2017

4263 0c99 390

lawlu:

minssery:

ask-bot:

What’s the most ridiculous false rumor that has been spread about you?

I joined my wife’s workplace about 12 months after she joined. When we worked together (same department, same roles), we’d keep mostly away from each other so not to crowd each other. When we’d take breaks, we’d be hanging out together. You know, normal stuff. Thing is, no one picked up on the fact that we were husband and wife. They knew she was married, and that I was married - but not to each other. Someone saw us holding hands on the walk back to our car after work, someone else saw us kiss when I dropped her in to work when I had the day off, and rumours started flying around that we were cheating on our significant others. People took it upon themselves to ‘intervene’ and approached me to tell me she was married and that I should be ashamed of myself. Someone else made a comment to her that she should be more discreet if she was going to continue on her relationship with me. Truth be told, we both found it pretty fucking funny. Didn’t get a chance to run with it, because we were so taken aback by it when it was brought up to us individually, that we just blurted out the truth on the spot.

imagine ur otp

4264 09f3 390

bob-belcher:

But no, double standards don’t exist in Hollywood 🙄

4265 a830 390
4266 f05f

daxterdd:

Thirty-one Days of HalloweenThe Addams Family
↳ Morticia Addams + Excellent Parenting Skills

October 30 2017

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Family and Friends: “What could be better than having kids?!”

Me:

8018 38bb 390

tomatomagica:

thisfuckingloser:

veronicasantangelo:

revolutionarygays:

andrewbelami:

old people are literally trying to blame our generation for food allergies…….

the sjws ruined halloween

peanut allergies were invented on tumblr

back in my day we

DIED

Reposted byPugsyLover PugsyLover

katjohnadams:

anais-ninja-blog:

witchcraft-with-space-bean:

avantgaye:

m4ge:

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”

I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.

new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks

Actual conversation I had at register:

“Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”

“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”

“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”

“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”

*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”

“Taste means nothing to me.”

At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.

“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”

She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.

“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”

My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”

“How many can I add?”

Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”

“One then.”

I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.

My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”

The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”

My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring. 

The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.

Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.

Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.

When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never l, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, 

“Yeah, I had one like that.”

8019 73a3 390

slytherinnpride:

harry potter → deleted scene

Reposted bypati2k6 pati2k6

October 29 2017

2963 3489 390

phobso:

Meditation on the roof

2965 c56c 390

caemidraws:

Gold

2966 9f54 390

lamus-dworski:

Powązki Cemetery in Warsaw, Poland during the days of All Saints and All Souls. Photography © Kuba Bożanowski.

2967 7881 390
2968 4180 390

aliciavikander:

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) dir. Wes Anderson

October 28 2017

8403 7424

katiemcgrath:

Women wearing armour in period/fantasy dramas 

8404 088e 390

frostedpuffs:

so this is what happened, right?

🚫 You are not allowed to dub or post this to other websites, including Instagram, YouTube, weheartit, Pinterest, etc.

instagram: frosted.puffs

8405 f259 390

codeprentiss:

I love Brooklyn Nine Nine with my entire heart.

8406 f29d 390

wonderguppy:

uuuhh yhea i love them

8407 1e5d 390

tchallaslightsaber:

fuwaprince:

Consent is not convinced.

Consent is not coerced. 

Consent is not manipulated.

Consent is not “afraid to say no”

Consent is not “because I didn’t want to disappoint you”

Consent is not “because I didn’t want you to give me the silent treatment again”

October 27 2017

0492 1497 390

spiroandthelacktones:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

mathemagician37:

lord-voldetit:

lesbians in space

SPACE LESBIANS GONNA COLONISE MARS, MAKE IT A BEAUTIFUL SAPPHIC UTOPIA <3

its actualy really fascinating, the reason they are considering making the mission to mars all female ACTUALLY doesnt have to do with “impure sexual thoughts” or anyhing it has to do with a multitude of factors, for example (cis) women astronauts tend to be smaller and require less food, nasa also did a series of studies showing that in groups, all woman groups showed better cooperation and teamwork than mixed or all men groups, and also probably the most interesting reason is that (cis) mens eyesight is damaged in space travel for reasons we dont even understand yet, for some strange reason the vast majority of men who have been into space have suffered damage to their eyesight and yet almost no women have had this issue, and scientists are still trying to figure out why but in the meantime sending men into space for long periods of time is a huge concern because they may go blind over time … just thought that that headline was a little reductionist and sensationalist so i had to comment, that being said tho…

HELL YEAH SPACE LESBIANS

Reposted byyoungandstupid youngandstupid
Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl